המניין המשפחתי המסורתי - כפר ורדים

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    July 19, 2006    23 Tammuz 5766

Chaverim,

Well, it's been quite a day.... and quite a week.
I couldn't begin to tell you here everything we've experienced in the past week, but I want to share a few moments... so let's start with what's fresh, today.

After 5 nights of the 4 of us (my wife and I and 2 dogs...) sleeping in our "cozy" laundry room (which is our fortified room), we woke up from what seemed like a relatively quiet night. There were of course some "boomim" (booms from artillery and rockets; ingoing and outgoing), before we went to bed, and some sounded pretty close, but after that, quiet. All in all, here in Kfar Vradim we've been lucky, Katyushot had fallen all around us in various adjoining localities, (including the Druse village of Pekiin), but none had fallen in our village. The day began innocently enough, but while I was davening I got a call, one of the village resident's father had died. At first, I wasn't even sure if we could do the funeral, since we'd need army permission for a public gathering, but it turned out that we were granted permission to do it at 5:00 P.M.

Even though we're talking about an old man whose death was really a blessing,
his son was naturally very upset, especially because it wasn't clear who would be able to come up north, (given the security situation) for the funeral. To make a long story short, we were just about ready to begin the funeral, when we heard loud "boomim", (those were actually our artillery firing into Lebanon), but then afterwards, we heard another "boom" that sounded really close. Yup, two Katyushot had fallen in the village. Well, on the spot I figured out how to perform the quickest funeral I've ever performed (Yaakov thanked me afterwards for doing a very "dignified" funeral; I guess I quickly learned the art of how to be quick yet dignified in the same time...!). A few minutes later we found out where one Katyusha landed; on a main road (in fact my wife had driven by on that road on her way to the funeral about a minute earlier...!). The other one landed in a wadi, also not far from the cemetery...

Yaakov is a secular Jew, but he definitely feels a tie to tradition, so it was important to him that there be a shiva minyan if possible. I announced the minyan at the end of the service, but of course I knew that under the circumstances there wouldn't be many people attending shiva, even today after the funeral. When I arrived at the house for Mincha/Ma'ariv, I found just 6 people, and Yaakov was again very distraught. He told me he urgently needed to speak to me, that he needed my help. I knew that Yaakov runs two hostels for mentally retarded adults in Akko, and that he puts his whole soul into it, like a father to these people. It turns out that the army informed him that he had 4 hrs. in the middle of the night to move all the hostel residents to safe locations in the center of the country. Yaakov was convinced that this was vital that they be moved away from the "boomim", but he told me that he felt he had to go with them and stay with them there, that to do otherwise would be like a commander deserting his soldiers. Could I give him a heter to go with them, despite his shiva?! I told him that the Torah teaches "ubacharta b'hayyim", and that if he felt that he needed to do this and that he had to be with them, that he should go, and try to observe the shiva as much as possible in the center of the country, that if he wished I'd arrange with my colleagues there that a shiva minyan be formed for him down there. And so we did Mincha/Maariv without our minyan, and Yaakov thanked me profusely and made preparations to leave.

And so during these crazy days, reality seems awfully strange, here's a case of a man essentially sacrificing his peace of mind not by staying up north, but by leaving it...!

And so here we are, living and trying to function as normally as possible between the "boomim". My wife and I spend much of our time simply talking to people, seeing how people are coping, both cong. members and other kfar residents. Linda (my wife) has been busy calling the parents of the autistic children at her school (she's an art therapist). I'm also in touch with some people in the Masorti kehilla in Tzfat (where there is no rabbi...); Tzfat's been hit hard, but thank God, all our people are well and managing.

Last Shabbat is also a story. We had a Bar Mitzvah scheduled, a boy from a small nearby community (Hila). Family came from America, and in the end, they decided to hold the service in the smalll synagogue in Hila, even though they had planned to be with us. Of course this meant that I couldn't be there for the Bar Mitzvah, and since I trained Shahaf, (the B.Mitzvah boy..) he was quite upset about this, but nothing could be done. Anyway, he was fine. We decided that they would do a "hanachat tfillin" ceremony at a Mon. morn. minyan in Hila. So yesterday morn., I went out to Hila with a congregant of mine, and we did the service there. Despite the "background music" of the "boomim", it was very festive, although tempered somewhat because of the situation, and also because Hila is where the kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit is from. Of course I read the fine prayer that my colleague Simchah Roth wrote up for Gilad and the other 2 captives, (as well as his prayer for Tzahal and Israel), it was particularly poignant reading it there, just 50 meters from Gilad's house...

And that brings me to my last story. Last Tuesday, one day before the Hizbullah attack, the kidnapping of the soldiers and the beginning of Tzahal's operation in Lebanon, I visited the Shalit home as part of a special delegation. A good friend of mine who is a Druze/Arab educator and relig. leader had suggested that a joint Jewish-Arab group representing our "Sukkat Shalom" project (this is an interfaith/intercultural event for youth and adults our minyan has sponsored for 4 years over Hol Hamoed Sukkot), go visit the Shalit's to express our solidarity with the family and give our wishes for Gilad's speedy return. I had been to the Shalit's house a week before (Gilad did his Bar Mitzvah w/ us 6 years earliier...). and so Noam Shalit naturally recognized me but he was surprised to see me with a Jewish-Arab delegation! I explained to him that I view "Sukkat Shalom" as an important part of my work in the area...

And so, while some things here are for most of us are very simple and very clear, (like the fact that this operation to strike hard at Hizbullah is necessary and fully justified...) other aspects of our reality are more complex. Like the fact that a Jewish-Arab delegation from the Galil could visit Noam Shalit to express solidarity with a family agonizing over their son in captivity at the hands of Hamas. Like the fact that a few days later I callthis same friend because I heard that a Katyusha had landed in his Druze village (the rockets don't distinguish between relig/national affiliation...). Like the reality that there are many of us like myself, who tend to the Left in our political orientation, who believe that we need to actively work to reopen negotiations with the Palestinians, but who also (like myself) have one son in the army now and another who does miluim (reserve duty), after serving 3 years in Gaza. We know that our reality here is extremely complex, that Israel doesn't always have a monopoly on righteousness and Truth, and that there is real pain and suffering on the other side.... despite all that, I say to all of you, this operation is necessary, it will continue, and it will succeed.

 
And we'll keep on hanging in there, between the "boomim" in the beautiful Galil!

Best regards to all,
Zvi Berger
HaMinyan HaMishpachti HaMasorti
Kfar Vradim